Never thought i would have participated

in a speech contest after entering

University (as that is just something i

was always thinking to do when i was in

 primary school,watching the best

students talking on stage made me

wanted to be one of them someday),

and this time in Japanese...

Having my japanese teacher said to us that participating in this contest is compulsory for the

 students in his class gave me a chance to fulfil something i wished to do when i was so

small, though after so many years...the teacher's words had made a big push for me to start

 writing my speech as the speech title was totally free for the participants. i came out with

mine, 'My Idol'. I finished my draft with 6 pages but being cut down into 2 pages as all the

participants would just be given 6 minutes to finish their speech, with my japanese level, i

knew i could not be able to finish all 6 pages in time, so cutting words was what teachers did

for me... this is not really a big problem as the one that worried me the most was whether i

could really tell on the stage to the audience what i wanted to say in my speech, as it would

be pointless if i finished reading my speech and my own purpose of standing on the stage or

 participating this contest did not being reached.i had challenged myself with wanting myself

to tell a story and not read a speech...i would consider myself won just if i did that...

this is my first time trying such a crazy thing...

i let my head to my collegue who i believed so much can handle my task that i want to change my hair style...and we just started without anything than i sat on a chair and she cut with 2 scissors, i sat on the chair and enjoyed so much, it is so different that there was no mirror in front of me where we usually have it in the salon...but i was so calm and confident on her...

and she did not let me down, i have a brand new hair style, short and young...

it's so exciting experience especiallly when there were customers coming in and got shocked seeing me sitting on a chair with so much hair on the floor around me...it was so fun..

While I was still worrying my aunt would start scolding and blaming me for not calling or visiting her for so long and the last time argument that occurred between us if I called her and once she took up the phone…but maybe she was crying waiting for my call, the truth was she misses me so much there…

While I was lingering thinking whether I shall pick up the phone and dialed, or shall I just still waited and waited and gave myself reasons to make it to my next day schedule….but actually she cried so many times due to my long time of hiding and refusing to face my problem, my family that means so much to me….

While I dialing her home number, I was thinking about what shall I say to her, and what shall I answer if she asked me the questions that I seldom have courage to say ‘no’, though I fought back to everything she said in the last time of our talking, which I thought she was so wrong…at that moment, I thought I could never got her back and had lost another family member after my mom…though I learnt so much from my mom that family has the same family members forever, they should not go anywhere different easily, so my high patience and endurance comes totally from my mom, it’s her who taught me family should always be the most important thing in oneself and one should always protect it from any changes…it’s her, who gave me strength to have determination to save this broken family after her leaving, and I know so well that she protects and pushes me so well at my back…

The thing that happened was, just right after I dialed and my aunt answered the call, the first sentence from her was “I miss you so much, chow fatt, you don’t get angry with aunt..”, I was standing there, holding the phone, and had nothing to come out from my mouth. I was so regret to have called her so late…

After 5 months of days without you, that was not the only thing I did where I took out so much courage to be done…I wrote my first letter to dad and wrote down my feels on him for so many years being his son, I tried to speak out everything inside my heart, like what you said, 'family members should have no secrets among each others'. And I got not just one good reply from my aunt, but got my dad’s call back after 3 weeks of voiceless between us after the big argument…I even got him saying ‘thank you’ for me, just 2 days after I sent my father’s day card to him, which I had not ever heard it 23 years of being his son…and I had my first time saying ‘Happy Father’s day’ to him too. I have learnt first steps should be made in time and without thinking too much other than the person whom you love and mean the most to you. Our family does not seem very good and complete like last time when you were with us, but it has become better and better day by day….have faith on me, and have no worry out there, mi…

i will start acting as a tutor to a standard 2 student in my same staying place here from July...

still remember i used to reject the opportunities to teach or giving tuitions to other last time...but now i try to accept the challenge to myself, not just to earn the money from the job, but also try to take new challenge or new task for myself, so that i will not always stay in my safe zone.

today i went to the book store and started looking for some revision books for standard two little student, making some preparation...and i know it should not be that a big challenge for me, i can handle it....with style...

the company that i am working at is now at last came a supervisor, after two and a half months from the last one resigning......it is a she, around 30, married...she impressed me with her great experience in other brands and companies that she was working with...

after her coming, it's not possible to say there is nothing different, it seems to have some invinsible controls, and stress around...the past freedom can hardly being felt anymore......though she is quite friendly and easily to talk with, but she can only be our supervisor and not friend possible...there are awareness between us...........

anymore, lucliky, there is just one month left that i will work in this company.........i will cherish the every moments that i have with the friends, good friends whom i met there......

so nervous as well to find there is just one month left and i will have to start my school and lots of memorizing..............and reminding myself there is still one year of being student for Ryan...........

Days here are so boring, working in a shopping mall as a sales assistant, selling clothes of a Hong Kong brand, 'Trenone' is such a monotonous job......that could not be a tiring job for me but it almost took all my time......

Trying to fully use my time, i started to plan my time so that i can still achieve some goals of mine... i bring some books, some japanese books and magazines and left them in my company so that i can read them and improve my japanese and english whenever im free....i try to at least read some pages everyday....and now i have finished reading some books... Since there is a 'Borders' just one floor down to my working place, i sometimes will linger there for japanese when it is my break time.

Since 2 weeks ago, i started to swim every 2 or 3 days, in the morning before i go to work. I bought myself a goggle, which is quite an expensive one for me, so that it could be my motivation to keep my plan going.

It is such a moment when i found that i actually can still do a lot of things, a lot of steps to fullfill my goals while i am working and thought i am busy...planning and stepping out is always the right things to be done...